usually, my husband falls asleep before me. so i read while i unwind. this usually leads to some sort of deeper thoughts-- contemplations, if you will. many nights, i close my book, put it on the table, and think to myself, is this really my life?
is this where i'm supposed to be?
i grew up independent, taking care of myself, and had a very clear picture of how my life was going to be. while i might not end up married, i'd definitely have a great group of friends who were willing to go to coffee with me whenever i called. a duplex in the city called my name. and i probably wouldn't have any pets; i don't have time to take care of living things. i'm a career woman. i need only myself. and occasional men to come keep me company when my friends are busy.
but last night, as i leaned over and turned my light off, i snuck over to put my cold toes under my husband's warm legs, encouraging him to roll over and cuddle a little with me before i fell asleep. the same thought ran through my head.
is this what i envisioned my life to be?
and the answer came to me:
this is so much better.