Friday, October 21, 2011

grab a coffee and study with me

Proverbs 31:16-17

P31:16: "She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard."
P31:17: "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks."

if i can make you one promise, it's that today won't be as intense as last week. partially because i don't have my study bible with me so i can't give you that commentary.

this week actually encourages me. because it's about planning and doing, and i rock at planning and doing. of course, it also brings to the surface some of my sins-- which are control and priority. Let's start with the good stuff, yes?

the P31 woman plans. she is cautious and resourceful. she makes good use of the things she has. she works hard and has a lot to show for it. these are all ways that she provides for her family, although this is one of the first verses we've seen where family or spouse are not mentioned. also, this may be one of the first time we see her wants being pursued instead of just family needs. a vineyard is grown for one thing-- to make wine. wine's definitely not a necessity, it's something extra that would be nice to give her family. in making this vineyard, she is out there doing the work. she does not buy the land and have her servants work it, or even worse, buy it and let it go to waste. she works it herself so that she can see to light the desires she sees in the land.

now the bad stuff.
i do this. i work hard for what i get. and then i'm proud of it. i work the land because in that way, i keep a control over it that i won't have if my husband works the land. also, these verses don't say that the man works for these items and the woman reaps the benefits-- in the same way, i work hard (two jobs and school) for my things. well, of course, for our things. husband also works hard, so we have a fairly comfortable life. but i often find my worth in the things i control. in the ability to work long days and stay afloat. to work hard in three different ways and live to tell about it. i am very good at controlling my life.

what happens when i lose control?
god shows he's got it.
god shows that not only do i not NEED to have control, but that i shouldn't WANT to have control. because having control of a situation means you're to blame when something goes wrong. but if god's in control and something goes differently than you expect it? that's great! it means you can relax and pray about what's coming next. it means that if i'm not controlling my external situations, i have more time to control my heart and soul, and ask god to permeate them both.

here's to losing control.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Erin. I thought about you today and found your blog. :)
    Love, Morgan